Doggie Extraordinaire

Got Coke?

Lately, I've been what my human calls a "good boy." I don't know what this means, but it usually involves much petting and sometimes rewards. All I know is I've been cranking up the cuteness factor for quite some time, in addition to resisting the urge to eat pillows. I'm getting quite good at both. See?


Upon closer inspection, one might notice the dried saliva on the pillow from my constant licking, but if you start looking closely, I turn on the cute full blast and it's always distracting.


If there is any doubt that I have nothing but love for the pillows (as humans do cheesecake), I put on a dramatic show of kicking the pillows off the couch when she's around so that she becomes my pillow. She likes this. Why she enjoys being a pillow, I don't know, but she rubs my head when I lay on her and then I know it worked.


If she gets up, I go back to laying on the pillows. It makes her feel safe with me and pillows in the same room, I think. Look how good I can fake it!


Yeah, baby! I'm so good, we have a regular routine down now. I look cute, love pillows and use her as a pillow, and she brings me my favorite toys so we can play our favorite game. It is a stupid looking toy, but it is so fun! She seems to have a lot of them. I wonder if this means something.


The game goes like this: She stands across the room with the toy and I sit on the couch, eagerly awaiting it. She's supposed to throw it to me so I can catch it in the air, but sometimes she likes to tease and pretend to throw it. I get all hyped up and ready to catch, but nothing comes at me. It's annoying, but what are you going to do? She's a very crude human.


And... here we go, with her pretending to throw it. I get startled and start to jump, but there's nothing to catch, and all it does is mess up the couch and move the furniture around the front room. Silly human. You'd think she'd know this.


"THROW it already!" Man, it gets exhausting jumping at nothing, and yet she persists.


"Human, if you don't throw it, I'm going shred all the toilet paper! Then you'll be sorry!"


Oooh, here one comes! Gotta catch it or it will shoot across the room and I'll have to chase it!


With each catch, I keep it for long enough to gnaw parts off of it, like the label and the lid and the ring under the lid. Makes it easier to grasp it the next time she throws it. Sometimes, when I see myself like this, I think I look pretty ferocious. Excellent!


Hmm, that crossed eyes look isn't so flattering on me, but with a toy coming at you, it's hard not to let it happen.


The goal is to catch it and get some good hang time. Oh, and not land on anything fragile. NOT that I care if I break anything, but sometimes broken stuff hurts, or worse, it makes my human angry and then the game stops. But I try not to think about that because hang time is very important.


"Okay, I've played your game. Can I please have some ALONE TIME with my toy now? KTHNXBAI."


For some reason, she feels the need to assess the damage as I drool in the background awaiting my toy to be returned to me. As if she didn't know I'd destroy it.


Then the toy becomes mine. As well as the couch. I take up the whole couch and you better not sit by me when I have my toy because I'll growl so much it will scare you. I practice lots. I'm good.


It's hard work, actually. It takes a lot out of you to catch these toys and try to keep their round, slippery shape in your jaw, so I need to relax with my toy and drool a bit while I calmly chew on the top. Energy does not last long enough.


Hmm, making use of these delicious pillows to lay on while gnawing on my toy is kinda nice. Maybe I should keep a couple of these pillows around for this purpose. We shall see.


She never lets me finish it off. When I start taking little chunks out of it, she usually snags it from me. Ah, well, I did my job. LOOK at that magnificent piece of work!


Okay, now it's back to being cute because tomorrow when she comes home, she might bring another one. Look how slick I am, being cute AND being nice to pillows. I'm SO going to have toys all week if I keep this up.

posted by Doggie Extraordinaire's Mom at 8:46 PM