Doggie Extraordinaire

Friday, March 24, 2006

Cutest Puppy Ever

My human will back me up on this: I was the cutest puppy ever.

This was me the day she got me. What a day that was! She totally exhausted me and I passed out every time she stood still for two seconds.

As soon as I got into the house, I had to test every possible surface to make sure the whole place was suitable for my habitation. By "test" I mean sleep on, then pee on all surfaces. I'm thorough like that.

Even my human's mom liked me, and she didn't even like dogs. However, those manicured fingernails were really irritating on my soft fur.

Look at me! I should be in commercials!

Then again, with a face like this, who could afford what I'm worth?

I could save thousands of dogs if I did commercials for shelters. Who wouldn't want something as precious as me? Okay, don't ask my human just how precious I was at that age. She will lie and tell you how I ate the furniture and ruined the carpet in every room. She pretends to be mad, but she's got wood floors, which she loves, and that's all thanks to me. See, nothing bad is as bad as it seems when I'm around.

It took a long time to get her to understand, but when she took me outside, the smells were so good that all I wanted to do was roll around. She laughed and took pictures, but she just didn't realize how much human scent she was getting on me everyday, and how desperate I was to get out and roll in some natural smells to get that nasty human stink off my fur.

Don't I look all frisky? What an unsuspecting temptation, this bare leg and hardly-shoed foot. You wouldn't know it from this shot, but after she snapped it, I wrapped my little fangs and claws around this long leg and made her scream. She knew, from that point on, that this look on my face means I'm about to play, puppy-style, and you're probably not going to win because you're a human. It keeps her in her place.

Now that I'm almost 2, I'm older and bigger, but I'm just as cute. More so, because there's more of me to be cute. Sometimes my human forgets, so I have to pull out these pictures and remind her how cute I was when I was little, so she smothers me in kisses. Can't let your human take you for granted. However, I am going to have to do something about her not respecting my need for my beauty sleep.