Doggie Extraordinaire

Wednesday, April 26, 2006


My human has had this basket for a couple weeks now, and it's been filled with sweet food that she doesn't ever share. She's selfish that way. Well, I was rearranging things in my room because she's always moving her dirty clothes into a big pile after I toil forever trying to get them spread out just right on the floor for me to sleep on, and I accidentally hit the basket of sweet stuff and it spilled on the floor.

Okay, I don't pretend to understand the human ways. Let me just say that now, before you start thinking I'm a human expert. I'm not! Humans are really weird. But the weirdest thing I've seen so far has got to be the little balls that fell out of this basket. They were all different colors and all different scents, and when they hit the floor, they bounced and rolled like my own ball-toys do. Only, they were tiny! So tiny, I could've eaten probably 20 in one gulp.

I wasn't sure what to do, so I stalked them, waiting for one to make just the wrong move, and then I'd eat it up. As I predicted, one did just that! It rolled on the carpet in a suspicious way and I had no choice but to pounce on it with both front paws and then slurp the bugger into my mouth. You know what? It didn't taste half-bad! Only... and here's the weirdest thing... it was CHEWEY! It stuck to my teeth! I chewed and chewed and chewed for what seemed like hours! What the hell are these tiny, colored, chewey ball-things?

Determined to crack the mystery, I slurped about 4 into my mouth and hopped on my bed. I set them down and studied them.

One promptly rolled across the bed and attacked my paw!

So, I ate it. It was good.

I don't know what these ball-things were, but they took forever to chew. And they were all different flavors. I didn't think I'd like them, but I couldn't help myself. Look at those pretty colors!

They were yummy. So sweet and tasty!

But, then they were gone. And my human said something about only getting them once a year! ONCE A YEAR! Delicious-ball-like-things-that-stick-to-your-teeth only come out once a year? That's crazy! Why are humans running the planet? Delicious-ball-like-things-that-stick-to-your-teeth should be here, in mass quantities, all year long! Wow, what a bummer. They were fun. They attacked my paw and bounced around and tasted like the sweetest fruit ever. I miss them already.