Couch Potato
Yeah, smartypants, I'm comfortable. The couch is
dog human-ugly, but it's just right for sprawling out on. Put the darn camera down and come over here and scratch my belly!
I'm
so going to chew holes in your underwear again for this! Human! I said scratch my belly!
Where's the Rope?
My human, she is always accusing me of eating things that I shouldn't.
Most recently, she got this idea in her head that I ate my rope toy. I don't know WHERE she got this idea from! Now, why would I eat my rope toy? I mean, it's my toy! If I ate it, I wouldn't have it anymore. SOMEONE ate it, but it wasn't me. She's sure it was me. Nothing I say can convince her that it wasn't.
She's looking at me like the case is closed and there's all this evidence against me, but where is it? I don't see your precious evidence! PROVE it was me!
HEY! I've been framed! Who put the rope string in my mouth? How did that get there? Have I been wandering around all day with this hanging out of my mouth? GAHHHH! Get out! I've been framed!
What's She Doing?
Is she...? NO! She wouldn't dare! But it sounds like she is! Is she eating and not sharing? I've got my eye on her! She's a sneaky one, that human!
Favorite Toy
Thankfully my human has an addiction to Coke that keeps an ample supply of my favorite toys around. Imagine if she was healthy and drank water! What on earth would I play with?
Froggie Extraordinaire
My human, she's got these two frogs, who sleep even more than me, if you can believe that. They don't do much and they smell funny, but I figure it's okay because when she buys them crickets (bluck!), she always brings me home goodies too, so, I guess the frogs are alright.
Streeeeeeeeeeeeeeetch
It was a busy day. I got up, ate, went to the bathroom, napped, buried a bone, napped, ate again, went to the bathroom, napped, chased my tail until I cracked my head on the table, napped, ate again, went to the bathroom again, napped, and then she woke me up for a midnight snack. She's so demanding. If she didn't give me such good belly rubs, I'd be so outta here.
Doggie Poses
She's always there with the stupid camera. I never get a moment of peace.
She likes to hold my bone high up so that I can only look at it loningly. It's okay -- don't feel bad. I hide it in her laundry later and she goes to work smelling like beef rawhide.
I don't know if she's lazy or what, but whenever I try to get her to chase me, she laughs and takes more pictures. What's her deal? Doesn't she ever play?
Oh no. She's coming after my ears again. She always pets them and rubs her face on them because they're so soft. I quit cleaning them a year ago to see if she'd stop, but she doesn't care. Why don't you pet your own ears, Human? Oh, that's right! You have small, hard, bald ears. Jealous?
Day One
My first day with the human. Man, it took me a long time to break her in! Always with the high-pitched talking to me, nearly drove me nuts. I peed all over the floor to punish her and she had to replace all the flooring in the whole house after a couple months, but still she kept it up. She's much better now.
